Hoppy Thanksgiving!

Well, today is Thanksgiving, my first official holiday as a Tripawd. This time last year, I was running the Turkey Trot 5K in Ann Arbor with Mom. I sure wish I could have gone this year. Mom and Alex got up early this morning to go down to Ann Arbor to do the race. I wish Mom would have taken Emmy to the race and given her a chance to run this year, but Mom said she was feeling all bummed that I was running last Thanksgiving, so it didn't occur to her to let Emmy try. (I am a much better runner than Emmy). Mom hopes that I can come to the race next year. I might not be able to run/hop a whole 5K, but she is hoping that I can at least cross the finish line with her next year. I can't wait!

I stayed home with Dad this morning. We were couch potatoes. Dad is still sore from the Ironman, so we have a lot in common. He says his legs are "toast". I know the feeling! Dad let me try on his medal from the race and said that I should receive a medal too for being such a good girl and for learning to get around as a Tripawd so fast. He told me I was a hero, and said what I have done must be even harder than an Ironman, since he had months of training, and I had no training at all.

When Mom got home we had a few Thanksgiving Day traditions. First, we watched the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV:

Next, we kept up yet another Michigan tradition of watching the Detroit Lions lose. My brother Alex says that was the Lions' 100th loss, I guess that means it's a special occasion or something.

Mom and Dad and Nick went out for Thanksgiving dinner in the afternoon, since all the boys were gone and they wanted to have a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner rather than sit at home. While they were gone, I got to thinking about some of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

1) Most of all I am thankful that my parents are not like that jerk at the Doctor yesterday, the one who said they should have let me go to Heaven rather than amputate my leg. I know I will go to Heaven someday, but I am not ready yet! I've got lotsa livin' left to do!

2) I am thankful that the real estate market in Michigan is the worst ever, because Mom doesn't have to work so much and has lots of extra time to baby me and take me to all my appointments.

3) I am thankful for the wonderful Sack family, who treated me just like a member of their pack while Mom, Dad, and Alex were in Arizona.

4) I am thankful for all the delicious food I get to eat now that Mom has been reading about what dogs really SHOULD be eating. Duck, rabbit, beef, chicken, turkey.... ahhhhhh..... this is the life.

5) I am thankful for those nice warm polarfleece sheets that Mom put on the boys' beds for Winter. It's a great warm spot to cuddle up and feels so good on my sore body.

6) I am thankful for Jerry G. Dawg and his pawrents website, Tripawds.com, which has helped Mom and I get through the past few weeks. There are so many nice people on there who have helped Mom and I feel better. Thank you!!

7) I am thankful for the delicious leftovers that Mom and Dad are sure to bring home from me from Thanksgiving dinner (turkey necks, please.... hint... hint).

Okay, time to run (I mean HOP) now. Mom and Dad just came home with the leftovers. Yum! I got some delicious turkey:

And even some roast beef! What a great idea to have both turkey and roast beef on Thanksgiving. What an awesome day this was!

Chemo Day - Round #1

Nova awoke this morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. After a weekend of being a picky eater she has been wolfing down her food. I guess she must have missed us and decided to go on a hunger strike. I feel bad for all she put Tammy through with her picky eating. She still was avoiding drinking water, so along with hand feeding her ice cubes, I have been adding extra water to her soft food (makes it extra slimy).

Before we left for the Doctor, she walked into Ben's room and jumped right up on his bed:

It was interesting to see how she did it, she had to adjust her technique. Another thing she is doing is shifting her front foot sideways. That bugs me a little because I worry that it will do damage to her front leg. Her front foot has gotten all spread out, I imagine it's her way of making a bigger platform to walk on. The foot is tilted so you can only see 3 toes when she walks, it is so weird:

She got right in the car, but had a different attitude than usual. Usually she just runs out to the van and hops in and stays there until I come out. This time she didn't object, but stood outside the car until I came out. She was looking at me like "we really have to do this, huh?" She was tense on the drive, like she knew we were going to the Doctor. She stood the whole way, which drove me bananas, i was afraid she would fall. She had to keep her head up in the front seat and rotated between resting her head on my shoulder (which doesn't exactly help me drive effectively) and on Ben's shoulder. This dog's head weighs a TON.

Ben kept getting irritated with her resting her head on him, apparently it affected his game playing on his iPod. I gave him the "be nice to Nova, she's sick, she just wants us to comfort her" lecture, which caused him to launch into a tirade about how poor Emmy was getting ignored because she wasn't sick. This whole ordeal has been stressful on everyone in the family. I know Ben loves Nova, he curls up with her every chance he gets and takes pictures to school to show his friends. It's easy to get frazzled when you're stressed and worried.

The appointment ended up taking much longer than expected. The wait was really long. Nova made a few Tripawd friends in the waiting room, and some other dog friends with cancer like this dog who had lymphoma:

Of course all the parents had to share their stories. There were a few people that came in with their dogs who were much further along in the process. It was nice to hear their success stories and kind words about Dr. Obradovich and Dr. Walshaw. There were also a few first-timers there. You can tell them by their wide-eyed, scared look. I was a little irritated at one man who looked at Nova and turned to his wife and said (not even whispering) "I would never do something so cruel to a dog like that (amputate), she shoulda just let that dog go to Heaven." I wanted to haul off and punch him, but I turned away and continued to talk positive with another Tripawd parent. It was kind of curious that that type of person would even show up at a Cancer Specialist's office with his dog. Some people just don't get it.

They took Nova in first to remove her bandage and clean up her incision. Dr. Walshaw pronounced the incision "lovely", but I have to admit it caused a few gasps when she walked out in to the waiting room. I think it was mostly because of her size. The incision was HUGE. It looked like that "Y" incision they make for autopsies (not that I know, I just read too many True Crime books). And she was shaved on that side so she looked naked. She hung her head, like she was self conscious, and snuggled up to the Technician:

They had run some preliminary bloodwork to make sure all was well for the treatment. She had an itchy right ear (all red inside) and some "female" issues that the doctor checked into, and ended up prescribing Amoxicillin to knock out any infection. But she was healthy enough for the chemo, but just had to wait her turn. She was a very patient girl in the waiting room, and allowed anyone who was interested to pet her:

Some say this is a face only a mother could love, but how could you not love this big goofy face? I think she is beautiful!

Patience was wearing a little thin after a long wait and she made a few runs for the door. She was panting a lot and I thought she might be thirsty. I sent Ben out to the car to get her ice cubes, and as soon as he returned they called her in.

They administered the chemo via IV and it was called Carboplatin. Dr. Obradovich recommended 4 rounds of Carboplatin as her first choice of treatment. I am very curious to see how well it works. They told me to follow up with my vet in a week for a CBC blood test, apparently the white count tends to drop after a week. They said side effects could occur around days 3-5, but that usually that just meant lethargy rather than nausea and vomiting. I counted out the days and that put it right on the weekend. Argh. Of course I got nervous about having yet another dog emergency occur on a weekend. Oh well, we'll get through it.

Nova came out and finally was tired enough to lay down as I went over instructions with the Doctor. Look how skeletal she is:

I am trying to feed her anytime she wants. Right now, I am feeding her 3 times a day, Evo canned food with Evo kibble mixed in. I even gave her some ground beef too. The technician told me I have to be careful to avoid letting Emmy get too close to any of Nova's poop in the next 48 hours or so. Apparently the Carboplatin is excreted, and should not be touched or (ewwww) eaten by a healthy dog. Luckily Emmy is not one of the types of dogs who does that.

We made the long drive home, but stopped for a few errands along the way. When we got home I was overjoyed to see Nova go straight for the water dish and drink for about 3 minutes straight. I am sure Tammy will breathe a big sigh of relief when she reads that. Poor Tammy made a major project out of trying to get Nova to drink for the past 5 days!

Okay, so I guess the next hurdle is to see what happens in 3-5 days......

Day Before Chemo

We are back from Arizona now, and I am so relieved to finally see Nova after 5 days away. Apparently she didn't eat very well while we were gone. I think she was depressed or something. Of course that made me feel like a bad mom. Although, as the day passed I think I realized that maybe she just figured out how to milk it for maximum sympathy! I don't know, I've seen her do things I know she is capable of doing as a Tripawd, and then she will be a big lazy butt and wait for you to cater to her. For example, Tammy mentioned that she hadn't noticed Nova drinking, so she started to feed her ice cubes by hand (which Nova ate). When Nova got home I noticed she wasn't drinking here either, so I decided to do the ice cube thing. I put a few down on the floor where she was laying, and she didn't move a muscle. I opened up a jowl and stuck one in there, and she spit it out. But when I HELD the cube with my fingers, she licked it like crazy, all while not even lifting her head. And as she is doing this, the tail is going thunk-thunk-thunk. Spoiled girl! I know I am being manipulated yet I continue to do it... I am such a sucker.

When I got her home this morning the first thing I did was cut off that bandage. She kept it on at Tammy's just to keep things from getting bumped, but it was high time to get that thing off of there and let it all breathe. It wasn't as shocking as I thought it would be (although the actual incision is still covered). Here you can see it while she was eating (By the way, she was a picky eater all weekend yet has downed 4 cans of food today... and counting):

What was more shocking is that practically her whole left side was shaved and she was..... well.... NAKED. Her pink skin with freckles/moles here and there was all exposed. And she was all shivery like she was cold. Poor baby! I decided to drive up to the pet store and look for a dog coat, although I didn't have very high hopes of finding a Great Dane size. There are always so many cute things for sale out there for small and medium size dogs, but they never seem to have sizes to accommodate giant breeds. Now I know how large-size people must feel. Anyway, I was surprised to find a giant breed fleece dog coat there at Pet Supplies Plus. Got it home and it turned out that it fit perfect, and I think she actually likes it. It is made by Fido Fleece. "Stylin' Fleece Activewear for Dogs" the tag says. I would have liked to get a more feminine color, but this was all there was. I think it looks nice.

Today Nova got a package in the mail from Grandma Barb. It was from Sit Stay (they have lots of cool stuff on their site) and was a container of "Carnivore Kisses". They are dried beef bites. I fed her a couple and she liked them, although just like when I fed her the ice cubes she just laid there as I fed her by hand like she was some Greek Goddess or something.

Tomorrow morning at 10 we have her first round of chemo. I am very nervous. I think what I am most nervous about is her being more tired than she is now. Right now she doesn't get up and move around much, and spends a lot of time just laying there. I hope she doesn't have problems with her appetite too. She is skeletal as she is, I don't want her to stop eating. I cooked her some ground beef tonight while I was making spaghetti, and also picked up a big thing of sliced turkey from Sam's Club. She turned down the ground beef tonight, but I am not too worried, since she had just eaten a can of rabbit.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's update. I am hoping they take her stitches out!

My Pack is Back

I am so happy! Mom and Dad got back from their trip last night and early this morning Mom came right to Tammy's house to take me home! When she walked in I was still laying down, taking my time waking up. Once I saw Mom I was so happy! I couldn't help it, my tail was going like crazy. I had been kinda feeling sorry for myself this morning, bumming around, not eating or wanting to go outside. But now Mom was here to take me home. Yay!

I do have to say, though, that my stay at the Sack's house was awesome, so much better than staying at the kennel. They treated me just like a member of their pack, and Tammy took such good care of me, she was just like Mom. She worried about every little thing, just like Mom. She slept by me every night, snuggled with me, gave me my eyedrops, took me outside, kept me warm with blankets, and fed me. The whole family was so friendly and loving with me, and they even had other people come to visit at the house so that they could see me. I loved all the attention.

Like I said, I spent a lot of time the past 5 days feeling blue. I missed my Mom and my family. The entire Sack family did everything they could to make me happy and comfortable during my stay there. I gave Tammy a few things to worry about, I didn't mean to, but that's what I do to Mom all the time, and it seemed like Tammy was like Mom for the weekend. I didn't always eat my food, and I didn't feel much like drinking either. But she came up with lots of creative ways to get me to drink (feeding me ice cubes) and to eat. Get this.... she even cooked me some ground beef, and I had salami slices and turkey. Wow! She even came up with a new way to feed me my canned food, which they called Turkey Balls. She would wrap up my dog food in a piece of sliced turkey and roll it up in a ball. Even being depressed, it was hard to resist the Turkey Balls.

All in all, I think I was a pretty good guest. That sectional couch in the family room looked so tempting, I really was thinking about sitting on there, but never did. It looked so comfortable.

When Mom got me home I went straight outside to go potty. It's so great to pee in my own yard again, even in the snow. Then I went inside and gobbled up a can of Duck, which made Mom very happy. Mom cut off my bandage (ahhhhhh!) and I headed for my bed to relax.

Here's how I look without my bandage. You can see that my incision is still covered. I think the Doctor will be taking it off tomorrow when I go for my chemo treatment.

Mom is going to go pick up my sister at the kennel in a few minutes. I am so excited to see Emmy, and to see the boys when they get home from school today. And Dad, too. Mom said he finished the Ironman, although he had to go very slow during the marathon. (I know how that is!) Hopefully Dad will be in the mood for a nap with me tonight when he gets home from work.

Hmmmmm..... I was just thinking that maybe I should find a way to get Mom to make me some of those Turkey Balls....

Power Outage

Blog updates on Nova are going to slow down a bit until we return from Arizona next Tuesday. We are in Tempe for the Ironman Arizona triathlon, that my husband is doing. We joke that he is going to be less mobile than Nova when we return, so they will definitely be hanging out together over Thanksgiving weekend. It wasn't easy getting out of town this morning. Tuesday evening we had a power outage that lasted until Wednesday mid-day. That had it's challenges when it came to Nova's care. Some things you just don't think through. We do have a generator, so we were able to keep the house heated during the day, but at night we turned off the generator because it was so dang loud, no one could sleep. Bad move. Nova woke up to pee at about 3 am, and I tried to let her out by candlelight and flashlight and she was not going for it. I could not blame her, she couldn't see her footing on the step outside, so she wouldn't go out. Plus I couldn't light up the yard so she couldn't find her way around outside. What a dumb move on our part. These are the types of things you don't think about. I was really upset, and worried about her, I didn't want her to trip and fall in the dark. So I ended up sleeping out on the couch the rest of the night so I could hear her if she got up. Firing up the generator was not an easy task, actually it had run out of gas so I was planning to go get more gas in the morning. So I put some blankets over her to keep her warm. I am still kicking myself over that dumb move of not leaving the generator on.

Once everyone woke up, we got it going, and all was well with Nova again. Her front leg is still a little jittery when she is laying down and she whines a little now and then, but I think she is just being verbal, because her tail is thunk-thunk-thunking the whole time she whines.

Wednesday night I took Nova over to Tammy's to drop her off for her stay. Once again, Nova barged in like she lived there and layed right down on her bed right next to Annie's bed. Annie was being such a good sport about it all. We lugged in all sorts of stuff, food, her bed, her favorite eagle stuffie, all her glaucoma medications, her new harness that just came in the mail an hour before, sling, leashes, etc. I even brought rubber-backed rugs for Tammy to put on her hardwood floors. It was like having a baby all over again! I was a little nervous about the fact that they had a 2-story house, and that the bedrooms were all upstairs. I was worried that Nova might cry if she was left alone on the main floor, just because she is used to being with us when she sleeps. (We have a 1-story house, one thing I am VERY thankful for, it is very tripawd-accessible!) I also worried that Nova might try to go up the stairs. Tammy eased my fears when she said she had no plans to sleep upstairs during the time Nova was there. Awwww.... what a relief. I am so lucky to have someone like her to baby my baby when I can't be there.

I called Tammy during our layover to check on Nova, and she said she was doing great. What a relief. She said Nova is very fast on 3 legs when she goes outside. Fun! My kids were laughing that Nova is probably ending up with the more relaxing vacation. She is getting fawned over all weekend... lucky dog!

Updates will be brief until she comes home next Tuesday. Wednesday will be her first Chemo treatment, so I know there will be plenty to tell then.

6 Days Post-Op - First Follow Up Appointment

Nova's bandage was getting scrunched up and I wasn't sure what kind of condition it would be in on Wednesday (what was supposed to be our first follow-up appointment with Dr. Walshaw.) I called the Cancer Center this morning, and they encouraged me to reschedule the follow up appointment to today, so that they could check her out and give her a fresh bandage. I think usually the bandage is removed after the first week or so, but I think it was decided that since we will be gone for 5 days, Nova will be staying somewhere where there will be another dog, and that it would be a good idea to keep the incision area covered lest it get licked at or bumped.

On our way to the appointment, Nova and I stopped at Tammy's house so that Nova could get acquainted with her house. We also wanted to see how her mastiff Annie interacted with Nova. As soon as mentioned the magic word to Nova (RIDE) her tail started thumping and she swiftly hopped to the garage door. She hopped out to the garage, the hesitated and went back in the house. Sometimes she does this, it's like she needs to get up the nerve. It was only a minute later when she hopped back to the door and went straight out. Hopped right up into the car, no problem at all. This girl is amazing!

When we got to Tammy's house Nova stood on the grass for a second. I think she was surprised that we had arrived at somewhere other than a vet's office. This seemed to energize her.

She realized that this was a "fun" stop (unfortunately we haven't had many of those lately) and went right for the door. The 3 steps in the garage looked a little daunting, but she hopped right up without hesitation, and walked into their home like she lived there. Tammy was a little nervous how Annie would react. But they just sniffed each other and Annie went to lay down. Nova inched her way into the house more and more until to found a spot on the carpet to lay down. Tammy and I talked for awhile about Nova's care and things that I needed to bring when I dropped her off on Wednesday. She said her kids were very excited that Nova was coming to stay with them and that they would probably do a "family campout" in the family room this weekend where they could all sleep together with Nova. I can tell already that Nova is going to be soooooooo spoiled.

We made the long drive to Canton and as soon as we got there, the tech took Nova back to replace her bandage. She returned a short time later sporting a new blue bandage with a nice big Thanksgiving turkey on it. It was adorable!

Dr. Walshaw came out to talk with me and answer all my questions (I'm always full of 'em). One concern I had is that there was a lump on the outside of one of Nova's toes (on her remaining front leg) that didn't look like it was supposed to be there. It kind of resembled a bunion. Dr. Walshaw calmed my fears and said it was most likely caused by the way she had shifted her weight to the leg. It kind of made her foot spread out (which makes sense). They said that the biopsy results from the leg that was sent to University of Colorado had not come back yet, but they would call when they did. Not that I am expecting any diagnosis different than osteosarcoma, but I am still curious about what they have to say.

We were back in the car heading back home in no time. Nova decided she wanted to stand up on the back seat, which drove me bananas. I was afraid she would fall if I hit the brakes too hard:

She eventually started to lay down (well, halfway) but she miscalculated and her butt was up on the side of the car. It looked really uncomfortable. She rode like this for awhile:

Then she eventually inched her butt down and took a big long nap in the sun:

We made it back home right before it started sleeting. She followed me straight to my office to assume the nap position sleeping beside my desk:

Nova Speaks

"Things are really starting to get better around here. I think I will end up being a pretty good Tripawd. I am getting better and better at getting up and down and moving around. And I am starting to do more of the things I used to do, which really makes my family very happy. I really like being in the boys' room, but they keep closing the door on me. Last night I wanted to sleep in there, but they shut me out. So I slept on my bed in the living room. Dad was really sick and was coughing so much that I couldn't rest, so I finally weaseled my way into their room through their bathroom."

"This morning after breakfast I wanted to see what they were doing. Turns out they were playing the Game of Life. They got mad when I walked in and hopped straight across the game board. All their money and cars with people were flying everywhere. Ben was laughing that his "wife" fell out of his car and got stuck between the pads of my foot. The I stepped my tripawd foot right on the box top and smashed it. Hey, it's not my fault they spread everything all over. Those guys are messy. After Ben won the game, they put it away and started to play Rock Band. Ahhhh.... I love to hear my brothers try to sing and play the guitar. As you can see in the picture, I like to just hang out in the middle of whatever they are doing. Mom kept coming in because she thought she heard me howling, like I was hurt. But it was just Ben trying to sing."

"I am napping a lot, but this is nothing new to me since I have always been a couch potato. Dad always used to call me the "House Cat". In the past when he would see me napping he would tell me to "Get a job!" It's funny, now he is really nice to me and gets on the floor to snuggle up to me and tell me how great I am. He doesn't tell me to get a job now. Now THAT'S more like it. My stuffies are really helping me feel better too. Here I am resting with Larry the Lobster (Mom and Dad got it for me at the Boston Marathon) and Lindy the Eagle (everyone got it for me at Busch Gardens). I can't wait to see what new stuffies are in store for Christmas!"

"This afternoon Mom went out to get me some more food. She has been spending so much time on the computer researching things she can do to help me get better, and be more healthy. The great people on the Tripawds site are giving her some great advice. Since I haven't been eating much kibble this week (I have figured out a way to make her think I will eat nothing but canned food... hee hee) she decided to try some new canned food called Innova EVO. EVO is a canned food that doesn't have any grains in it (which us dogs shouldn't be eating anyway). It is all delicious meat, vitamins and minerals. Chicken, turkey, duck, beef, and rabbit.... she went all out and tried all the flavors. When she came home I told her I was hungry and she gave me a can of Rabbit. Wow, I didn't think there was anything in this world that was better than Cowboy Cookout, but this sure was great. She was so happy I liked it she gave me a second can! She is slowly going introduce some other vegetables and fruits and try me on some Innova EVO kibble (no grains in there either). She is also going to start introducing these new foods into Emmy's diet too, since Emmy is so fat."

"When Mom got home she started looking for me right away. I knew I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, so I just stayed there. I should have known she would keep looking, she found me sitting in Dad's chair. But she didn't get mad, she was so happy to see me there and doing all my usual Great Dane stuff. I tried to be serious and remorseful, but you see I could not stifle a tail wag. Works like a charm!"

"Today everyone was all surprised when they found me drinking out of the toilet. I know most dogs do that all the time, but I never had the urge to do it. I have always avoided my brother's bathroom, but today I decided to walk in there (gotta try out the Tripawd on all types of surfaces). Whaddaya know, I saw a toilet that looked just like the one on the card that Annie's family sent me yesterday. I remembered Annie's advice to "Drink Plenty of Fluids" so, I took a nice cool drink. And then Mom walked in on me. Everyone thought it was funny that I did what the card said to do. I don't know what was so funny. When someone gives you some good advice, you take it, and try it, you know?"

Continual Improvement

Friday and Saturday brought a few things to worry about, but much, much more to be happy about. Nova continues to improve in so many ways. Dogs are so amazing! Nova is much more enthusiastic now about getting up, moving around, and going outside. Those first few days, I stressed so much that Nova didn't go out to pee more than once a day. There are still many times that she will just go to the door, think about going out, then turn around and pace. But I have found that all I need to do is trust her, be patient, and know that when she needs to go outside, she will do it. Whether it's an hour later, or a few hours later, she always comes back and tries again. When she REALLY has to go, she just goes to the door, and goes right out.

"Oh geeze, Mom, do I REALLY have to do this right now?"

"It's a pretty big step down there, thanks but no thanks. I think I will stay right here."

Eventually, the business gets done when she REALLY has to go.

Although it's been raining much of the time since she's been home, she likes to linger outside when it's not.

"At what point do you stop carrying that camera around, Mom, and photographing my every move?"

She is getting so mobile now, really starting to get back to her curious, nosy self. She always wants to be where the action is. Before she was just parking it somewhere and not moving. Now, when she sensing the action is shifting to another room, she will just get up and go there. Usually, she remains standing, panting very heavily. That really stresses me out because she looks so uncomfortable when she pants. But the tail is usually wagging at full speed. The panting is most likely a side effect of the Tramadol, but I guess it's probably from all the hopping. The kids get alarmed when they see her panting, too. I'm trying to dispel their fears by telling them to jump around on one leg and see how soon THEY are panting. It's a lot of work to do that! I'm just glad to see her WANTING to move. I would imagine if she was in tremendous pain, she would not want to get up and move.

All of the pacing is taking a lot of getting used to. It's hard not to worry when you see it. The kids especially don't like it when they are sleeping. I'd like to confine Nova to the living room at night, but she really loves to be with Ben and Skyler in their room, so much so that she has her own dog bed in there. Last night Ben grabbed his pillow and came out the living room couch to sleep. he said that Nova's panting was driving him bananas, along with her just standing there staring at him in his sleep. Later she decided to come back out and pant in Ben's face on the couch. So he relocated back to his bed. Apparently (unbeknownst to me until this morning) Nova went back to the room and jumped in bed with Ben. He let her stay there because he was so amazed she could do it. This morning at breakfast we were all talking about what a bummer is was that Nova would probably never be able to jump up on the kids beds again. That's when Ben said "I'm sure she will, in fact she just did it last night. A round of high fives for Nova!

Yesterday I noticed this icky looking loose soft lump starting to hang from Nova's belly, right at the edge of her bandage. Of course I was on the horn to the Doctor right away, lumps are scary things to find! They are probably so sick of hearing from me. Supposedly, it's just extra fluid from the surgery. They told me to just put warm compresses on it a couple times a day and that it would form a bruise on it. Sure enough, that's what it did. But it is getting bigger (I think the bandage is rubbing), so it's pretty gross to look at.

See? It looks kind of like a hernia that one of my Labs had once:



Today, Nova got her first Get Well card in the mail. How exciting! It came from some of Nova's biggest fans, the Sack family (Tammy's family). The lazy butt mail lady had pulled in to the driveway honking her horn, she did not want to come out in the rain to give us a small package that wouldn't fit in the mailbox. So I went out to get the mail from her and Nova had come to the garage door (back to her usual nosy self).

"So, you got any mail for me, Mom?"



As I walked inside, she was sniffing the mail, like she knew there was something there for her. We found the card, opened it, and found a few jerky treats inside. Emmy tried to butt in and swipe one, but Nova ate them quick. The card was a big fawn mastiff (just like Annie) drinking out of toilet and it said "Want to feel better soon? Drink plenty of fluids!" Funny. Even Delilah the guinea pig signed the card.

"See my great card? Don't worry, Annie, I am getting plenty of fluids!"

"The whole family signed the card, even the guinea pig! I am so lucky to have so many people who care about me. Thank you!"

A lot of people who haven't seen Nova yet have been asking what she looks like when she walks/hops. So I took a brief video of her walking down the hall. You will see at the end she just stands on her bed, not laying down. She always takes her time deciding exactly how she wants to lay down. Here it is:

What Cancer Cannot Do

I just was shopping for Christmas gifts in the hundreds of catalogs that show up in the mailbox this time of year. In one was an afghan that listed the many things that cancer CANNOT do. It was written by an Anonymous author.

Cancer is so limited....
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit

Music to My Ears

NOW we are starting to make some headway. This morning I went in to wake up Ben for school and I saw that Emmy had swiped the dog bed, and Nova was sprawled out on the floor on her "ouch" side. She had taken some of the throw pillows that had fallen from the kids bed and had them all propped under her. The second I made eye contact with her I heard the sound I have been waiting all week to hear again. The heavy thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk of her crazy happy wagging tail. THERE'S my girl! Nova has one of the greatest tails ever. On a normal day it wags constantly, even when she is having a good dream. And when ever she hears her name, even in her sleep, the tail starts going. It can be hazardous too, that thing is so big and out of control, she can clear a table with it.

There was even more familiar "music"... last night at 2:30 am. I was in bed and heard Nova's usual "I want to go outside" speak. Nova is one of those dogs that "talks" in a sort of howly, roo-roo, way. It was not a howl of pain, she was clearly saying the usual "come and let me out". I have never been so happy to jump up at 2:30 am. I went over to the boys room and saw that the door was nearly closed. In the past, Nova would have been able to open it, either with a paw or her snout. Of course, now with one front paw she couldn't do it any more. I opened her and she was standing there (this was the first time she "asked" to go out) and quickly hopped past me, down the twisting and turning hall (in the dark), through the kitchen, and out the back door. I had to run to keep up with her.

She hopped out to the middle of the yard and immediately took a big poop. I was standing out there watching, thrilled that she was starting to feel a little like herself again. It had warmed up a bit last night so that it wasn't biting cold standing out there, and there was a light breeze blowing the pines. We live in the middle of a pine forest and when there is a light breeze it is so calming and mesmerizing to watch and listen to the tall skinny pines sway back and forth. Nova stood out there for a few minutes, holding her head up sniffing in the night breeze, and she took a deep breath and sighed.

When we got back in it took her another 1/2 hour or so to decide where she wanted to lay down again. In the process, she woke up Ben and Skyler, because the hopping and panting was noisy. I tried to direct her to her bed in their room, since she was really intent on going back there. But she kept wanting to stand between their two beds, looking back and forth at them, hot steaming big dog breath in their faces. I could tell she really wanted to jump up onto one of the beds, but she didn't try. She hopped out to the living room and back a few times, and finally settled back in on the floor at the foot of Skyler's bed.

This morning was great. She got right up when I told her I had breakfast waiting. She went to the door and thought about going outside, but changed her mind. She's still panting, but she is definitely getting more and more like her social self. She hopped around between the kitchen and the living room to be in the center of the action wherever the majority of the family happened to be. It was the most I'd seen her move yet. She still just stands in one spot, looking around, but she tended to do that a lot anyway. We always said she was more like a horse, because she likes to stand, even in the car. She hopped up to Daddy a few times for some kisses. And she hopped over the the TV to stand in front of it and drive the kids nuts blocking out Sports Center, which is something she usually does every morning. In the past that would drive them bananas, and they would yell at her to move. But today they didn't do that, they walked over to give her a big hug and kiss. That's all she was looking for anyway. Everyone appreciates that she's starting to be her quirky self again.

One thing I really have to do is "Tripawd proof" the kids room. Nova loves to go in there, but she keeps stumbling over things left on the floor. I gave them the lecture to keep things picked up so Nova doesn't trip. She's already stumbled on a few toys, dirty clothes, pillows, and this morning she got her front paw tangled in the cords on a Playstation controller left on the floor. Argh. I think for awhile when I am out of the house and I am going to keep her confined to the living room. I don't want her tripping over stuff. I guess that means I am going to have to be more vigilant with the kids (as if I am not on their case constantly already to pick up their room).

Alert the Media

I finally got Nova to pee around 6:30 pm tonight. Yay! My kids thought I was an absolute nut case, I was acting as if she had performed the greatest feat ever. Then she ate a big dinner, wagged some tail, and crashed out on her bed in the living room.

When I went to sign up my son Ben for Ski Club tonight I saw Julie, at technician at my local vet and wife of the owner, Dr. Osmun. I bombarded her with all my questions and she put my mind at ease about everything. Yippeeee! All is well.

Nova is on her bed holding court with various family members. Everyone is dishing out the love, big time.

Nova Speaks

Oh geeze, Mom. Sometimes I wish you would just take a chill-pill. You worry sooooo much. I know, I complain, but you know how much I appreciate it when you DO worry. If it weren't for your worrying when my eyeball hurt so bad, we might not have caught the glacoma in time to save the sight in my other eye. And when my stomach twisted in the middle of the night, you worried and drove me an hour to the emergency clinic for an emergency stomach tack in the middle of the night. You even held me in your lap (all 125 lbs of me) just like I wanted, because I was scared of the stomach tack surgery and a doctor I didn't know. Thanks also for worrying when you saw that big lump above my wrist back before Halloween. Because of that, I think I have a much better chance at living a pain-free, healthy life. I couldn't do it without you.

I am so happy that Tammy offered to care for me while you are gone to Arizona. I like Cliff at the kennel, but I think Tammy really is a better choice. I know she will take excellent care of me and that she loves big dogs. I can't wait to sniff everything at her house and get some lovin' from her kids. Hopefully her big dog Annie won't mind me getting all the attention. This 3-legged thing REALLY gets a lot of attention (I love every minute of it). What I like best is that Tammy is a worrywart, just like you. In fact, remember she asked why I was limping at the Swartz Creek meet back in early October? She noticed my problem before you did! (Ha ha)

I think you just need to relax a little and let me get through the next few days. Losing a leg is a big deal. It hurts. I need some time to, well, find my sea legs (or tripawd legs), if you will. And this pain medication makes me feel like, well, total crap. Remember when you had those wisdom teeth out, and that codeine had you feeling all weird, having strange dreams, and seeing little green aliens on your pillow? Well it's not any easier for me with this Morphine and Tramadol.

Hey, one more thing. What's the big idea posting pictures of my swollen feet? Come on, can't a girl get a little bloated every once in awhile without having pictures plastered all over the Internet? Did you see me posting pictures of you when you couldn't squeeze your fat butt into those jeans last week because you ate all those potato chips?

Always the Worrywart

It's late afternoon on Thursday. It's been a challenging day. Nova still has not peed since 5 pm yesterday and of course I am obsessing about it. It seems like it would be important to pee and eliminate the toxins out of the body, you know? I haven't noticed her drinking much, she doesn't seem thirsty at all. But she's eaten twice, so that is good. At lunch she ate just enough to get the new pain med, Tramadol, down. Two of her feet (on the right side) have swollen up and it seems like they are getting bigger. The Dr. says I just need to get her up and around moving more. I'm trying! I have also been massaging the swollen feet when she is laying down, and just talking to her in a happy, happy voice.

Maybe I am being a little premature, but I don't like the Tramadol. Actually, I don't really like any type of pain medication that zones you out. Nova did not seem like herself when she came home on the morphine. But she seemed much more of herself than she does today. Today she seems really depressed. Typically with a normal Nova, all you have to do is start talking like a cartoon character and she gets all excited. That usually revs her up to do anything. But not today. She is just giving me blank stares. I've seen a few minor tail wags, but nothing like Nova. Also, the Tramadol makes her pant a lot when she gets up to walk around. This stresses me out, because I feel like I am putting too much pressure on her to move around. From everything I have read, panting is normal. But of course I worry, because that's what I do.

It is the 3rd day after the surgery and if I recall, anytime I have had surgery (or my husband for that matter) the 3rd day has been the worst. It's usually when you stop taking the heavy pain meds and start to feel the pain. I hate how pain meds make you feel, and I hate what they do to Nova. I don't want her in pain, but I don't want her to be a depressed zombie, either. I will stick it out. Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better.

This morning something happened that really brightened my day. I had sent a link to my blog to Tammy, my "big dog mom" friend from cross country, and also asked her for some advice on places to take Nova to while we are in Arizona next week. I would just prefer to leave her with someone who will be a little more attentive to Nova, you know? She said to call her, and that she had an idea. I was amazed (and so very thrilled) when she offered to take care of Nova in her own home while we were gone. She has kids, a big dog, busy life, so I didn't think it would be appropriate to ask. But she said she would be happy to care for her, being she is one of Nova's biggest fans. I can't think of many other people I would trust with Nova, but Tammy is one of them. First, she worries just like me. I am so relieved that we will be able to go to Arizona and know that Nova is being cared for by another Big Dog Mom. I am going to take Nova over there on Monday to get her acquainted with the house and all.

I went out for awhile to show a few houses and came back to find that Nova had jumped up on the couch. She gave me a guilty look but I let it slide and let her stay up there. I was just glad

she had gotten up and moved around a bit. I am trying to think of creative things to motivate her. Unlike my other Dane, Nova is not very motivated by food. I think I could stick a medium-rare New York Strip in front of her and she'd say "Ah, I just bury it here in the sofa and eat it later."

Don't these feet look swollen to you?

Working Out the Kinks

Here we are on day 3 and as expected, there is not much change. I can't wait until Nova is off the epidural morphine. She really isn't herself right now, although it is probably helpful for her healing that she is all zombied out rather than her usual wiggle-butt self. I just gave her her last dose this morning and then I am supposed to pull off this huge saran0wrap like bandage off her lower back and then just pull out this tiny needle-like catheter out of her back. Ewwww....

Last night when she got home, Nova was great about going outside to pee and ate a big dinner. But then she just crashed out on her dog bed and slept all night. I gave her the morphine at 5 pm and again at 11 pm. She didn't want to get up and go outside late, so I just let her sleep. I checked on her a few times over the night and she changed positions a few times, which I thought was good. At times she was even laying on her left side where the amputation is, which totally amazed my husband. The thought she would avoid that side all together.


I woke up this morning and it is cold and raining very hard. Argh. Not ideal conditions to go out to pee. I had to really egg her on to get up to go outside, and then put a trash bag over her head (cut a hole for her head of course) so that her bandage didn't get wet. When I opened the back door she would not go out. The just stood at the door looking at Paul and I. I tried to put the sling on her to walk out with her, but the space to go out in the back is very narrow and I don't think she liked me crowding her. Paul and I stood out in the rain for awhile trying to coax her, but it didn't work.

We came back inside trying to coax her out the front door, although it is not a good option because we don't have grass in our front yard (it's all a pine forest). Nova never goes potty there, it's more her favorite sun spot. So she just stood there in the kitchen staring at us. It was heartwrenching because she was probably hurting (since it was time for her dose of morphine), so she had this "this really sucks big time" look on her face that made me want to cry. We decided to just let her go where she wanted, so she headed for the door out to the garage which is the one with the most steps (3). Argh! For some reason this is her preferred way to get in and out. The other exits are just one quick step down, the stairs in the garage are longer so I guess it makes her feel safe. When she got to the garage door she stopped dead in her tracks. She did not want to go out in the rain. After more coaxing, we gave up and brought her back in.

I was trying to get her to eat breakfast and pee before giving her the morphine because I knew she would just conk out. So I mixed up some of her regular dry kibble with a can of "Granny's Pot Pie" and she slowly made it to her dish and ate about half of it. She stepped back to get her bearings and big fat Emmy came in and gobbled up the rest before I could grab the dish. What a little devil. Nova then went to the back door again, like this time she was ready to try to go out. I opened the door and she hopped right out. But the rain was coming down even harder and I had forgotten to put the trash bag on so I was running along side of her trying to drape the trash bag over her, but she was getting wet anyway. This freaked her out big time. Of course she wouldn't pee because I was standing right next to her with my hand on her back. I'm yelling to Paul to get an umbrella or something. I knew she would not pee with me touching her, she likes a little privacy. Paul opened the door and she decided "screw this" and went hopping back in the house.

One lesson I learned this morning is that I need to Tripawd-proof my house. There are trip hazards galore. 2/3 of the house is hardwood floors. I have rugs over many of the floors, but occasionally Nova would trip on the edge of one of the throw rugs. Then her feet were wet on the hardwood floor, I was so afraid she would slip. I got so nervous trying to move the dog dish out of her way that it slopped all over the floor. And she was starting to hop right through the puddle so I am yelling at her to wait, as I am grabbing tons of paper towels to wipe up the mess so she doesn't slip. She's looking at me like "why are you yelling at me, Mom, I can't help that I have to hop". I got it cleaned up and decided to just let her go wherever she wanted. She hopped right in to the boys' bedroom and quickly got settled on her dog bed on the floor. She stood for a minute looking at Ben's bed (she loves to jump up there and nap), looked at me and then said "Nah". Emmy promptly jumped up to take Nova's usual spot.

She plopped down on her dog bed with her stuffed eagle and the Disney Channel cartoons going. All those silly voices make her happy. I came in and gave her all her glaucoma eyedrops then gave the final injection of morphine. At lunchtime we will start with the Tramadol. And hopefully by then the rain will stop and she will go out to pee.

Straight from the Tripawds Mouth

Well we just got home and I am so thrilled to have Nova home. We talked in the car and decided that Nova would help me out with this post. So anything you see in italics comes straight from the new "Tripawds" mouth.

Wow, what a long strange trip THAT was! Everything was so unexpected. When we went to Dr. O's office on Monday I saw that it made Mom cry, so I decided that I did not want to go back there. I didn't understand when Mom told me Monday night that we would be going back there the next day. Why would she want to go back to a place that made her sad like that? She kept telling me that Dr. O and the surgeon Dr. Walshaw were very smart people whose whole life was helping dogs like me. I trusted Mom, because I know she always comes through for me. But then why CRY about it? Sometimes I just don't understand people.

On Tuesday morning I was so excited to go for a ride. I had a feeling we were going back to that place because Mom kept touching my leg and crying. She even took my picture. I still hoped that maybe we were going to a cross country meet to see all my friends, but I knew in my heart that was probably not the case.

When we got to the clinic I started to get a little scared. I trust Mom, I really do, but I didn't understand why she would be so sad if what we were doing was supposed to be good for me. She kept telling me that Dr. Walshaw was going to make the pain in my leg go away. If you ask me, that sounded like a pretty good deal. It was just so darn confusing because she was so sad. I licked her tears off her face because I didn't want her to be sad (plus I LOVE the taste of tears, it reminds me of cross country meets when I would make rounds giving kisses to all the sweaty boys on the team).

Mom asked for Dr. Walshaw to come out and talk to her about the surgery. He seemed like a very friendly guy, and he had this very funny sounding voice that made me feel happy. It reminded me of the Geico Gecko on TV. Mom said he sounded that way because he was British. She also whispered in my ear that he was one of the leading oncologic surgeons in North America. Yeah, uh huh, whoo hoo, but is he going to make this awful pain in my leg go away? I wasn't so sure, so I made a run for the door a few times. The nice technician was so friendly she helped me change my mind. Mom looked at me (through tears) and said it was okay to go with the technician. So that's what I did.

In a short time they had me on a table and I was very comfortable and sleepy. Everyone was so friendly and I felt I could trust them. I kept Mom's words in my mind until I drifted off to sleep. A short time later (it seemed like that to me, but it really was much later in the day) I started to see those friendly faces again. They were all saying nice things to me. I felt very warm and cared for, but was so very tired. But I did notice one thing, and that was that the horrible pain in my leg was gone. Ahhhh.... Mom was right! Dr. Walshaw DID take that awful pain away. I wanted to give Dr. Walshaw a big slimy kiss, but I felt a little dizzy after the technician put some more medicine in my catheter. Time for a big long nap!

Early in the morning I woke up and was feeling a lot better. But I was so hungry. I knew that this was a friendly place, so they had to have some food around here. I really felt like a dish of my favorite Cowboy Cookout right now. But they didn't have Cowboy Cookout, so I settled for their canned food. Geesh, you'd think they'd have Cowboy Cookout in a place like this. The people there were very happy to see me eating. They were also all happy to see me sitting up. Everyone was looking at me, like they were expecting me to do something. I couldn't figure out why. I felt a little woozy and that's when I looked down and saw that Dr. Walshaw took more than just the pain in my leg away. He took the whole leg too! Well, whaddaya know! I now had 3 legs where there had once been 4. How interesting!

I really had to pee and the nice people started coming toward me like they were going to try to help me. Please. Like I need help going outside to pee. I may be kind of a doofus, but geeze, I can do this. So I got right up and walked outside. I think they were actually amazed. I don't know what the big deal was. Sure, it was a little strange to hop a little, but when you gotta go, you gotta go, you know? So I did what needed to be done.

I sure was ready to get out of there. All these people were nice but I really didn't know them all that well and I thought that if I stayed there much longer they might decide to take another leg. No way, Jose! I heard Dr. Walshaw talking to the technician, telling her to tell Mom that it was fine to come and take me home. What a relief! I knew the car ride was far, so it was hard to wait for Mom to get there.

I heard her voice when she came in and I couldn't stop my tail. It's always such a wonderful feeling when your people leave you some place and they come back! I was so happy. I could hear them telling Mom what to do with my medicine, and they were setting more appointments for the future. (I am really not too thrilled about coming back here). When I came out to see Mom I was so happy. And so was she! And this time she wasn't crying, she was just hugging me and petting me. Dr. Walshaw and some of the technicians rushed out to meet Mom and tell her what a terrific patient I was. They even made me a bumper sticker out of a bandage and put it on my back that said "#1 Great Dane". Everyone agreed that I was the most loveable Great Dane they had ever met. One technician told Mom that before she met me, she didn't even like Great Danes (yes, it's true, I know it's hard to believe), but that in one night I had won her heart.


Don't you love my #1 Great Dane sticker? (No surprise there)

Getting in the car was a piece of cake

Soon we were on our way and I went truckin' out to the car at full speed. When I got to the van I just jumped right in, no problem. The technician was so surprised and so was Mom. Once I got in the car though I was panting. Geeze, that was a lot of work! Why was I so tired? I guess my body is not used to moving around on 3 legs yet. Oh well, I'm sure I will have that mastered in no time. After a few minutes I decided that standing in the van was not going to be a good way to ride home. Usually I like to stand in the middle so I can see what Mom is doing. But when she would turn corners I would start to lose my balance. This made Mom very scared, and she begged me to lay down and rest.

Okay, Mom, can we go home already?

Relaxing on the car ride (are you SURE you are supposed to be taking pictures while you are driving, Mom?)

When we got home I saw my brother's car and got very excited. Mom opened the van door and I jumped right out and went right for the garage door. Mom's mouth was wide open, but I don't know what she was so surprised about. She was running behind me telling me to wait and let her help me up the stairs. Excuse me, Mom, what do you think I am, stupid? I went right up the 3 stairs into the house. Inside my people brothers Alex and Ben were there to greet me. And my Great Dane sissy Emmy was there too to give me a great big kiss. She sniffed around at my bandage and looked at where my leg used to be. Hey, Em, you got a problem with that? I felt a little self-conscious and thought about making a fat joke about her to ease the tension, but then decided not to. I was just too happy to be home!

"Let's make a deal, Em, you don't make 3-legged jokes, and I won't make fat jokes. Deal?"

First things first, though. I went straight for the back door to go out for a pee. Mom got all worried-like again (give it up, Mom, I can do this, okay?) about the step going out back. Come on Mom, it's ONE step. She acts like I'm a puppy or something. Geesh. I went out into my yard and took a big poop. That felt a little weird scrunching up my back with a IV catheter in it. Then I took a big long pee. Ahhhhhh..... that had to be the best pee ever. Mom stood there laughing that it took so long. Then I went inside and Mom gave me a big bowl of Cowboy Cookout. YUM! I was famished, so I gobbled it right up. Mom was making me a little crazy, she had the camera out and kept taking pictures of me. Geeze, Mom, what's the big deal? She kept following me around like I was famous or something. I know I'm good lookin' and all, but girls really don't like to have their pictures taken when they are feeling under the weather, you know?

WHY in the WORLD do you need a picture of THIS, Mom? (people are so strange sometimes)

Nothin' like a big dish of Cowboy Cookout, mmmmmmmm......!

"Check me out, I've got this Tripawd thing figured out already! Any you guys thought I was just a dumb blonde!"


Well, Mom just stuck a needle in my catheter and now I am feeling verrrryyyyy sleeeeeepppyy. I think I am just going to sprawl out here on my bed in the living room and head off to la-la land for awhile. Mmmmm...... it's so great to be back home........

Mid-Afternoon (Pleasant) Surprise

This afternoon just as I was adding these posts, my phone rang again. I noticed the cancer center's number, and my heart skipped a beat. They were not supposed to call again until this evening. I fretted for a moment that there had been a problem, then realized I was not picking up the phone. I grabbed it just before it went to voicemail.

It was the technician again, and she was laughing. She said that she knew she told me that it wouldn't be until later, but Nova was doing SO WELL that the surgeon said there was no reason why she could not go home this afternoon. REALLY! I am so excited! She continued to laugh and said that when they first got Nova up to pee, she just got right up and WALKED outside. She said dogs usually hop, and Nova just got up to WALK. They said she was very happy and totally ready to come home. Yay! This has totally taken me by surprise. I am so excited! I am going to pack up and start the trip down there right now.

Yay! I get to have my big hunka love home tonight! Stay tuned.......

Day 2 Update - AM

This morning the technician from the cancer center called right when she said they'd call. I was thrilled. She said that Nova was doing GREAT! She is not walking yet, but she is sitting up and eating canned food like a pig. They are going to get her walking today, up and down to pee, etc. They are not going to decide until the end of the day if she is to come home today, so it will most likely be tomorrow morning. Yay!

Day 1 - Late PM Update

(Written on November 11, 2008)

I was out taking Alex to buy his new Varsity jacket and my phone rang with another update on Nova. It was the night technician telling me that Nova was starting to perk up a little and was giving some kisses. The tail even started wagging! Yay! She was not interested in food yet, so they were keeping her on an IV through the night and would try with more food later. The technician said Nova was a total sweetheart (I knew THAT already!)

I am going to have a much better sleep tonight!

Day 1 - PM Update

(Written on November 11, 2008)

I just got a call from the surgeon. He said Nova did great during the surgery, no problems at all. She is out of surgery now and “resting comfortably”. They have her drugged up with morphine for the rest of the day, and tomorrow morning they will start trying to feed her and get her up and walking.

Whew! I know that is just the first step of many, but I am so optimistic.

Lotsa Thinking

(Written on November 11th, 2008)

I did a lot of thinking on the drive home and trying to be positive and thankful for all the blessings in my life. I thought back to a conversation I had last night with my husband Paul. I was so worried he would be upset about the expense, but he could tell quickly that was what I was thinking because I said I just can’t put her down right now, and he said don’t think for a minute that he would ever want to put her down. I was so relieved. He knows how much Nova means to me. I am thankful to have a spouse who understands this. It’s only money, and although we can’t afford to pay for all this in full right now, we can easily pay it off over time (I haven’t carried a balance on my credit card for years, but will have to for awhile now.) I know there are many people in much worse financial situations. Just another thing to be thankful for.

I also thought back to Monday night at the Cross Country banquet. Tammy and I connected after the banquet and she laughed because Nova's tail came up in one of the pictures in the team slide show. I told her that the amputation was the following day and that I was so sad that Nova would not be able to be the cross country mascot dog that fall. The tears were welling up, but she got a big smile on her face and said Nova would definitely attract more attention and love than ever if she continued to go to the meets as a Tripawd. I didn't realize until then that I was assuming that Nova would not be able to go, but when you think about it, of course she can. If she is healthy by the summer I will continue to take her to the park races and team meets.

I think people are much more afraid of amputations than dogs are. Dogs don’t care. If it makes them feel better, they adapt, and get on with life. I wish people were better at doing that. As I remember with Milhouse, our Dalmation, it is so very shocking to have the dog come home with no leg, and you feel absolutely awful the first few times you see them struggle to get up, or lose their balance and fall over. It just rips your heart out. But very quickly you see the difference, and how happy they are and you see it is worth it. We did the amputation with Milhouse knowing it had already spread, and that it was only buying us a few months. With Nova it seems more promising because it hasn’t spread, and the chemo has a good chance of knocking out any microscopic stuff that might be there.

When I got home I spent a lot of time on the www.tripawds.com site. I did a ton of reading and even added a post telling Nova's story and asking a few questions. I had been wanting to search online for a type of harness to put on her to help her in and out of the car and up and down stairs. It was amazing, as soon as I opened the Tripawds site, there was a video promoting and demonstrating a harness made just for that purpose. I ordered one on the spot.

I had to keep myself occupied while I waited for news that she had made it through the surgery safely.

(Gulp) The Big Day

(Written on November 11, 2008)

I had a very hard time sleeping last night. When I woke up in the morning I had a very hard time not looking at Nova's left leg. I kept wanting to hug her and touch the leg that I knew would not be there by the end of the day. I cradled her head as I gave her her glaucoma eyedrops, and whispered words of encouragement in her ear. It was very hard to not break down and cry. On the way out the door I made an impulsive decision to grab my camera and take a "Farewell 4-legged Nova" picture. Probably stupid, but I just did it.

I put Nova's bed in the car so that she would have a comfortable ride. Surgery is always to nerve-wracking, with dogs AND people, because you never know if there will be complications during the surgery and that this might be the last time. I cried for much of the ride down there and had to spend some time pulling myself together in my car before taking her in. Of course, Nova kept licking my face to wipe my tears.

We went in and she instantly recognized the place and made another bee-line for the door. She started whining too. It was heartbreaking. I was able to hold back my tears as I signed all the forms and releases. But she kept tugging at the leash and wanting to leave. I asked to speak with the surgeon and he came right out to talk with me. I was wanting to know how much of the leg they were going to take off, and what it might look like. I was really shocked and dismayed to find out that even though the tumor was way down near her ankle, that they would be taking off the entire left front leg AND the left shoulder. He said that it was the preferred way and a more streamlined look for the dog. He said if anything if left dangling it creates more opportunities for things to get bumped and hurt. I understood, but was still stunned that they would be taking her shoulder.

Soon it was time to say goodbye and I kept hugging her, not wanting to let her go. I whispered some final words of encouragement in her ear and watched the technician walk away with her. I got back to the car and set her collar and the seat and the floodgates opened. There is always this feeling of "will she blame me, or be mad at me?" And "I just paid someone to saw off my dog's LEG, how cruel." I know it is not cruel, but actually the most loving thing I could have done for her. And I know she won't be looking down there thinking "I can't believe you would do this to me." Argghhhh. It is times like these where I wish I was a dog. Then I would not worry, I would just wag my tail and take life as it comes.

Quick Decision

(Written on Monday, November 10, 2008)

Nova and I made the hour-plus trek south to Canton to see Dr. Obradovich at her Animal Cancer and Imaging Center. I had stopped early at the vet to pick up her x-rays and various test results. I was feeling good and positive. I had tears in my eyes as I saw Nova once again thunder out of the house and leap up into the van, tail at full speed. She always relishes each and every car ride, even those to the vet. You would think we were going to the dog park or a cross country meet.

When we got there the staff was very pleasant and friendly. Nova is generally a big lover, but she quickly decided she wanted nothing to do with the place and started softly whining (more like complaining, she is so verbal it was like a conversation). Every time the door opened and another patient came in she would make a run for the door. It's so hard to hold it together when you see that. We stopped at the scale for a weight (125 lbs, up 3 lbs from the previous week) and went in to the exam room. It took awhile for Dr. Obradovich to come in, but she did spend a lot of time with me.

There was no beating around the bush. She reviewed the films and put the one of Nova's leg up on the wall. She said it was extremely urgent to do an amputation, since Nova's leg had a fracture in the bone already (this was on an x-ray taken nearly 2 weeks ago!). I was alarmed that Dr. Kern had not noticed the fracture, and I immediately felt a rush of guilt for making Nova walk around on a broken leg for the past 2 weeks. I also felt a sense of relief that I had made the right decision in coming to Dr. Obradovich for her opinion.

Obviously I had to make some quick decisions about Nova. After the doctors there reviewed the x-rays and test results, they quickly agreed that it was osteosarcoma, or at least SOME type of sarcoma (which they can’t tell the type without another biopsy). I was a wreck. We are going to Arizona for my husband Paul’s Ironman triathlon next Thursday, and there was no way that I could cancel the trip. Paul has been working way too hard for this. I asked Dr. O if she thought it could wait until I returned. I felt like a selfish loser even asking, but we have a few thousand dollars invested in this trip, much of it non-refundable. She shook her head. The bone was very, very weak and she felt that Nova could at any time suffer a more severe, painful break that would require an emergency amputation. The last thing I would want to happen would be for it to occur at the kennel when we were in Arizona. I arranged the surgery immediately.

Regardless of whether it is cancer or not, Dr. O says that amputation is the first, most important thing to do to improve her quality of life. So, that’s what I have decided to do. Last night I had already learned that through browsing through a site called www.tripawds.com, and reading a few stories about 3-legged dogs affected by cancer. Dr. O did more chest x-rays and said that Nova's chest was still clear, so they have a very good chance at stopping the spread throughout the body with a combination of amputation followed by 4 chemo treatments. She will have her first chemo treatment 2 weeks after the surgery (if the tumor is found to be malignant - they will send it to the lab after the amputation). If it is benign (very, very slim chance) then they will not have to do the chemo. Chemo apparently does not make dogs sick the way it does people. It was a tremendous relief to hear that.

Doctor O said survival rates are about 50% in the first year (with amputation and chemo) and 85% in the second year. This is for dogs who have clear chest x-rays. Of course it is much less for those that have already started to spread. It seems like a lot of money to pay for the chance to have my dog around for another year or two, but when you think that’s like ¼ of her ENTIRE LIFE, it seems to make sense. I just can’t rationalize putting her down right now (although I am sure some people would) because she is so very happy and otherwise healthy. If she were in a bunch of pain and it had already spread then I would decide differently. It’s hard to make this decision being married, because guys don’t always feel the same way about their pets, it’s easy for them to be more detached. The financial part is hard. Paul has been supportive throughout all of Nova’s ordeals, but I am sure he would rather have a new fishing boat than chemo and an amputation for a dog who is going to die someday anyway. (He’d never say that, but I’m sure he’s thinking it). Oh well, my Visa card is going to take a beating. The economy is so bad and I have been making next to nothing in Real Estate. Time for a “Car Wash or Spaghetti Dinner to Benefit Nova’s Cancer Treatment” :)

So I will be taking her in tomorrow morning at 9 and the surgery will be tomorrow. It will be done at the cancer center, they are much better equipped to handle 24-hour care than my regular vet. For a second I considered having Dr. Kern do the surgery, to save a little money. But then I got worried about complications and thought that the surgeon at Animal Cancer Center is a better choice to do the surgery. She will remain there until late Wednesday or some time on Thursday. We are leaving for Arizona next Thursday, so she will have about a week at home. The vet seemed to think that it would be fine to board her, I am so worried about that. The kennel I use is very one-on-one, just a guy with a kennel building in his backyard, he only boards 5-6 dogs at a time, but he is very attentive. She and Emmy usually share a run.

One positive note, Dr. O said that she felt that Nova was a “perfect” candidate for a front leg amputation since she is so lean and fit. She also said that females generally have a harder time with rear leg amputations because it’s so much harder to squat to pee. I never thought of that.

Right now my head is spinning. I am not second guessing my decision, really I know in my heart that it is the ONLY decision. I know we are embarking on an unknown journey, with lots of ups and downs for sure.

Here goes.........

Good News/Bad News

(Written on Thursday, November 6, 2008)

Well I got the word back today on Nova’s biopsy. There was no cancer detected… in the tiny samples that they took, that is. Dr. Kern is still concerned though, because there was no official diagnosis from the lab. They can’t diagnose if they can’t find anything, right? She was also concerned because based on the location and “look” of the tumor, and the breed, it is very likely osteosarcoma. There is always the chance that it is just a bone cyst, but that is pretty rare. (That is what I am hoping for, but I know it is wishful thinking). So the next step is to do a more invasive biopsy, where they put her totally under and take a large section of the tumor. That means a cut that is a few inches long, stitches, etc. Yuck.

I thought about it for awhile. I was so not wanting to put Nova through such an invasive biopsy, and I couldn't bear to wait again for results, when all the while cancer could be continuing to grow and spread. I made the decision to take her x-rays and test results over to a canine oncologist (Dr. Joyce Obradovich) an hour away in Canton next Monday for a 2nd opinion. It seemed to me that it made better sense to to get and experts advice on what the next step should be, before subjecting Nova to a very invasive biopsy. My concern is that her leg could break from all the cutting and such. I want to hear it from an expert, not just a regular vet. I guess my rationale is that I will feel a lot better having an expert do the second biopsy, if needed, and I want to hear her opinion. I hope that is the right choice.

Otherwise, Nova is still the same happy girl. She limps ever so slightly, and the lump is still there. But she seems healthy and happy so I have been letting her enjoy life to the fullest (although trying to keep her from running). Of course she is getting a lot of extra love these days from everyone in the family, and anyone else who has heard of her crisis. Every chance I get I take her leg in my hands and say a prayer over it. Sounds silly, but I don't know what else to do. Sometimes I talk to the tumor in silly rhymes "Evil tumor go away, we don't want you in Nova's leg". Of course no one knows I do this except me and Nova, and her tail always starts wagging like crazy when I do it.

I am so anxious to hear was Dr. Obradovich says about my big girl on Monday (we are going there at noon).

Grieving a Little

(Written on October 31, 2008)

Well here it is Halloween, and I just now realized that it would be poor judgment for me to take Nova out trick-or-treating like I have for years. Dr. Kern said to avoid any unnecessary walking or rambunctious play. That is so hard with a wiggle-butt like Nova. I am so sad that I can't dress her up for Halloween. She has always been such a good sport about it. A few weeks ago I was on a quest for a turkey costume for her, and a peacock costume for Emmy. Then I got sidetracked with the lump, the biopsy and I stopped looking. I decided to just have them wear their costumes from last year (Nova was a princess, Emmy was an angel).

On Halloween night I decided to leave Nova home and dress up Emmy in the princess costume and head out. It didn't go very well, since Emmy does not like to walk as much as Nova. She especially doesn't like to go for walks without Nova. So I came back home and just sat and watched TV, drinking a glass of wine, and being sad.

Another thing I am grieving is that Nova might not be here next year for cross country season. She was kind of the unofficial team mascot and is a well-loved fixture at all the local summer trail runs at the park, and at my son Alex's cross country meets in the fall. I thought of my friend Tammy from cross country, and how sad she would be about Nova. Tammy has a mastiff named Annie, and she and Nova often pal up at meets. Both being big dogs, they always get tons of attention.

Biopsy Day

(Written October 29, 2008)

Today was biopsy day, I took Nova in at 7:30 am to leave her for the biopsy, and picked her up in the late afternoon. When I came to get her she came out with her tail wagging at full speed, full of love and kisses. She has a cute little pink bandage covering the biopsy part, along with a bottle of Rimadyl for her bone pain. Of course they don't know anything yet, the results will take up to 7 business days. But the procedure went very well, excellent bloodwork, and she was VERY happy to get home this afternoon. Not groggy or anything. I gave her a nice bowl of her favorite soft dog food, called “Cowboy Cookout”. They have given me a couple names of some cancer specialists, but have advised that I wait for the biopsy results before seeing the specialist. I really don't want to wait, but I don't want to be negative and assume it is cancer.

I've read a bunch online and have come to the conclusion that it is probably 99% sure it is osteosarcoma. It is just way too common in giant breeds, and the location of the tumor is a very common location.

Waiting Over the Weekend

(Written the Weekend of October 25-26th)

I told my favorite dog-loving friends about Nova. It is so nice to have understanding people to vent with when I am dealing with a dog-crisis. A lot of people just don't get it, and make you feel like you are going way overboard on your dog. My dog-loving aunt asked about Emmy (my other dane) and wondering why I always had updates on Nova, not Emmy. Awwww... Emmy has really ended up at the short end of the stick these days. People don't hear anything about Emmy because she is healthy and quiet! Poor girl, she always looks so lonely when I head out with Nova for another visit to the vet. I think she thinks Nova gets all these special car rides and she doesn't. If she only could understand. It's hard to, because Nova always thunders out to the van with her tongue flapping and tail wagging, like we are going to the dog park. Emmy is very different than Nova, snuggly but in a much more gentle way. Nova just butts her head in and gets in your face, or gives you the "butt". One of her nicknames is Butt HEAD, because she butts her big honkin' head into everyones business. She also "talks" a lot and her tail wags constantly. Emmy is more patient and quiet and gentle. The only health issue she has is she is fat, very barrel-shaped.

I probably won’t know anything more until late Wednesday. I am nervous about the biopsy. Nova never does very well with anesthesia, and I am also concerned that getting in there to take a sample could further weaken the bone. The last thing I want to happen is for her leg to suddenly break, which from what I have read is something that has happened. She is happy as ever, her tail even wags in her sleep. It is sad to look at her and know that while she may be with us for awhile longer it probably won’t be as long as I was hoping. Let’s just hope it’s a slow-growing tumor, or just an inflammation. I know it’s not realistic, but I can always hope! Both girls have been getting lots of extra hugs this weekend, that’s for sure.

Oh No... A Lump!

Back on October 24, 2008, it was late afternoon and I was looking down at Nova’s front paws and noticed a big swelling in one on the joints on her left front leg. Oh no! I did not have a good feeling about it, as it looked similar to the swelling we saw in our Dalmatian several years back, which back then turned out to be bone cancer (ostersarcoma). Of course I called the vet at 4:30 and begged to get a quick appointment, I didn’t want to wait until Monday. These things always seem to happen on Fridays, or on the weekend, ever notice that?

They got me right in and did an x-ray. Unfortunately it did not look good at all. It showed a big dark tumor in the bone. Of course there is no way to tell just by looking at it that it was cancerous. The vet said that the biggest threat is that the growth of the tumor can weaken the bone, and it can spontaneously break and cause a tremendous amount of pain. :( The recommendation was to arrange for a bone biopsy ASAP, which they couldn’t do until the following Wednesday. They also suggested a chest x-ray, to determine if any spots appeared in the lungs or chest, which would be an indication it was cancerous, and had spread. I agreed to the chest x-ray which they did right there. Luckily, they had several vets available to look at it and all said the chest appeared clear. But the same doctors looked at the x-ray of her leg and all felt that it was most likely osteosarcoma. But of course we won’t know for sure without the biopsy.

Right now I’ve been told to keep her calm (she’s usually pretty calm anyway) and not let her run around or jump. They gave her some medication for the pain. From what I am reading online, it doesn’t necessarily mean the end is around the corner, but amputation is probably inevitable. Awwwww. That’s what we had to do with our Dalmatian. He was in pain from the tumor (it doesn’t seem like it causes Nova much pain right now) and once we amputated he was a new man. He lived another 6 months after that, and all but a week or two were really good, happy weeks. In the end it had spread to his abdomen and pressed on his lungs, so we knew it was time to let him go.

Oh, I love my Nova so much! She is my best friend. I don’t want to see her in pain and thankfully right now she is not. It’s hard to face that she might not be around as long as I had hoped, but I want to make her life as good as possible. She is such a happy dog! Even right now her tail is wagging non-stop.